I’ve realized that it’s easy for someone to hold you to your throat. Not necessarily physically, like an armed robbery situation, but mentally.
It’s with the hovering around, darting eyes awaiting your next move. Asking questions relentlessly. Prying. Nagging. Prodding.
Claustrophobia has been manifesting itself in physical form of late. It’s been hitting me at every angle and turn. I have come to feel suffocated by own family and friends.
This is when I realize that it’s okay to be selfish. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to want to be by yourself sometimes, as much as it’s okay to demand someone’s attention when you need it. It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to do something that makes you feel better about yourself. Whether it’s sports, entertainment, rest, a frivolous purchase, a good cry.
Life is simply learning to let go, being yourself, freeing your emotions. It’s okay not to be okay.
In admittance of this choc-a-block situation I’ve found myself in, I’ve realized that I need to be selfish to heal myself. Only when I’m whole will be able to give more of myself as there will be an overflow of ingenuity.